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About Pretoria

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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So, my friend, pack light, come ready to explore, and don’t expect no sanitized tourist brochure. Here, life’s raw, untidy, chaotic—in every byte and every tide. It's like that movie, all futuristic love and messy human feelings. And if anyone gets in our way, I’ll just whisper, “I choose violence.”

Beloved JBay resident, Ted Derry, passed away